A wedding is a joyous occasion in our lives, and we are delighted that you wish to share this covenant with St. Mark’s Episcopal Church. A wedding is a solemn occasion for the life of the Christian community and the individuals who celebrate this commitment. The information on this web page is designed to orient those new to St. Mark’s and the Episcopal Church to how we understand marriage. With this awareness, you can tell whether or not this understanding expresses with integrity what you intend by having your marriage solemnized within the community of St. Mark’s.
In order to answer many questions that commonly arise, we have prepared this customary for the Celebration and Blessing of a Marriage in this parish. This is not a rule book, but it does represent the typical customs and boundaries that are practiced in this parish. If you have any questions or concerns at all, or if you are ready to start planning, please speak with the priest. [click here to email] That contact will start a conversation where you will receive support and guidance as you plan for your wedding and life together.
In Pennsylvania, as with other states or nations, marriage is a legal contract. There are many forms by which to establish this contract, depending upon the wishes of the engaged couple and the nature of their commitment beyond the legal contract. Marriage in the Episcopal Church is both a legal contract and a public, solemn religious commitment: a physical and spiritual union of a man and a woman for a lifelong and exclusive relationship, made in the presence of God, with God’s blessing, and within the community of faith. If this describes the commitment that you seek, then St. Mark’s is fully prepared to support you from your engagement, through the wedding and into your marriage.
Because of the importance of the community of faith in upholding and strengthening married couples, weddings are normally intended for active members of this parish. As always, we welcome you to join our parish family where your life together can receive the support of the church.
[Click here for more information about membership]
The canons of the Episcopal Church require that at least one of the persons to be married is a baptized Christian. We also would be delighted to welcome you to the body of Christ through baptism if you so desire.[Click here for more information about baptism] If you have any questions about baptism or membership, please feel free to speak with our Priest, The Rev. Tom Pumphrey [click here to email]. Back to Top
Because of the solemn nature of this commitment, engaged couples prepare for marriage in several ways. Though the Episcopal Church requires a minimum of thirty day’s notice before the wedding, we normally plan at least sixty to ninety days in advance at St. Mark’s. This allows for the scheduling of premarital counseling, logistical planning and the couple’s mutual work of preparing to be husband and wife. The officiating priest meets with the couple at least four times for premarital counseling and at least one additional time for planning the logistics of the wedding. Premarital counseling by the priest is intended to be a pastoral support to the couple for the long term, equipping them with relationship skills and building awareness of both strengths in the relationship and areas needing strengthening. It should be noted that, though not often exercised, it is within the discretion of the priest to decline to solemnize any marriage.
Any person desiring to be remarried (whose former spouse still lives) is required to receive permission from the bishop for remarriage. This safeguards the integrity of the marriage covenant in our church, and calls to attention responsibilities to the former spouse and any children from the previous marriage. The priest will discuss the matter with the couple and request permission from the bishop’s office in writing.
In order to preserve both our theology of marriage and this community’s liturgical (ceremonial) expression, the priest is the final coordinator of all wedding activities at St. Mark’s. All wedding coordinators, photographers, videographers, florists, musicians and interested friends and family should clear activities or plans with the priest and accept direction, if need be, on the day of the wedding. This insures a smoothly run and joyful occasion for all involved. The couple will meet with the priest and the church musician to plan the logistical details of the wedding. These plans are normally finalized in writing thirty days in advance.
“Liturgy” is actually more than ceremony. The word means “work of the people” and constitutes the way a community worships God. Weddings, as rites of worship, are expressions of the life of this congregation and the couple to be married. We follow the “Celebration and Blessing of a Marriage” in the Book of Common Prayer (pages 423-434) as the order for the wedding service. [Click here for an online prayer book]. This form of worship has many styles of application that you may have seen in other communities. Some styles are appropriate to this community, some are not.
At St. Mark’s, you will find:
You will not find:
Except in unusual circumstances, there is a building fee of $100 that covers preparation, clean-up and assistance on the day of the wedding. The fee for the Minister of Music is $150 (additional musicians may incur additional costs; all musicians should be coordinated by the Minister of Music). There is no fee for the counseling and officiating services of the clergy, though a generous donation to the priest’s discretionary fund (alms for people in need) is appropriate.
This Customary is intended to supplement rather than replace the counsel and cooperative efforts of the clergy in planning your special day. Please use this as a starting point for that personal conversation. And again, Congratulations!